This is a great crackhead pooch tale. So, I come out of this famous crackhead of a taco stand in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. And when I leave what do I encounter? Not one but two pooches in some weirdos arms. I ask the weirdo, “Hey what breed are your two dogs?” He replies, “I don’t know dude, take a guess.” Oh hell NO amigo! You want to be rude, fine! When he didn’t look I gave these two pooches some of my taco. The weirdo saw me and had some sort of spas attack, just like a little teen does when watching Justin Beiber. He complained and said that tacos are bad for dogs. I said “Listen DUDE, they like it so let it be DUDE.” He just stayed quiet and left the place. Anyway, these two were loving my taco so they certainly fall under the crackhead pooch category for being weird taco eaters. 

The freaks come out night, the freaks come out at niiiiight! The crackhead pooches come out at night, the crackhead pooches come out at niiiiight! 

Oh Charlie. This is my buddies pooch. He’s half lab and half poodle. Yeah, what a crazy mix. Talk about a biracial father and a bitch of a mother. Crazy stuff I tell ya! Anyway, my buddy and I were playing with Charlie and decided to take advantage of his kindness. We gave him some beer, put a motorcycle helmet on him, made a ball out of old plastic and threw it around my apartment so he can go and chase it. The moral of the story is, don’t let humans take advantage of your kindness. It will result in some fun but mainly in humiliation. For this you are a crackhead pooch who has no shame! Just like your folks! Ugh! 

This little pooch was the center of attention at some garlic farm convention I went to in Long Island. I get it, you are cute! Whatever!!!! You will grow in no time and just be a big sloppy mess! I saw this little guy in the burbs with some redneck looking owner. If you want to know what the owner looks like, look at her feet. Anyway, the little guy was cool, but with all that attention he will become conceded and eventually become a crackhead pooch. By the way, I’m talking about the grown adult foot, not the midget foot. 

So, is this the Golden Girls dog? Is this a fossil? Honestly, if I were to ever meet this dog, I sent an email to meet him and he never got back to me, so conceded, but anyway, I couldn’t even touch him. I would be disgusted. I would pet him with a piece of stick. Anything that would not require my hands to have any contact. This is disturbing. What a granny crackhead pooch. 

I am not racist but this is definitely a Puerto Rican crackhead Mets fan pooch. Wtf will you do with the money? Are you going to Petland to buy treats? Are you meeting a bitch to take to dinner? NO you are not! Stop being a a beggar for your owner and go learn some tricks. Skateboard. Jump through hula hoops. Be useful. 

This dog was cool at first. I showed him love. I said, “hey buddy, you are all right.” Then he took advantage of my “friendly ways.” He vomited on me while I petted him. I do NOT have radiant arms that does something to your insides. After that, you were officially a crackhead. NOT a crackhead pooch, but just like a crackhead like some ghetto crackhead dude in the ghetto. Wow, this shocked me. I am still upset. 

I have no words. This is my dog. He’s the best, loyal, good looking, ladies man and all. But deep down inside, you are a crackhead pooch. You drink beer, you drink rain water that has been in a pot for weeks. Wtf Pele? Anyway, you rock man. 

I know I I had you in my home for about a month, but you always smelled bad and had disgusting farts. I hate you Sancho! You are a crackhead gaseous freak! Get a home already. Stop living in different homes. Settle in little buddy. Whatever, I still think you are cool. My home is your home. 

Can the US have Euthanasia for pets? If so, sorry little ugly buddy, you are first on the list! Get rid of this dog asap! 

Like father like son? NO! Like crackhead dude like crackhead pooch. Weirdo, Frenchy, little annoying cyclist, Tour De France hat wearing freak! Poor pooch. Oh my the similarities. Ugh! Gross! 

I hope Grandmother Mimi cleans up after that black mop of a crackhead pooch. Seems like a double feature. One mop of a pooch and one Bulimic of a crackhead poodle! 

Tony the hyper, I want to play play play play pooch! Xanax, warm milk and honey from now on! 

Tigog? Doger? MADE IN CHINA! 

Cockeyed chubby checker home wrecker crackhead pooch.